10 POST Consciousness is you and the Gunman

Consciousness is you, that every twelfth or twentieth frame that you process, the movie you make that you star in.  Even the feeling of who you are is memory of the movies you made.  Yes, others gave you ideas of who you were and gave you good or bad memories at that.  But you decide what memories and experiences to put together to maintain a sense of who you are.  Yes, others influence you to what to pick in that movie, but ultimately you decide.  That is your choice.  And you want to put some thought into it.  The more thought that is questioning and objective the more freedom will you have.

That is unless you are in an urgent and emergent situation, like a gun to your head, then you can see, feel, think more and even act in brilliant ways to save yourself.  You may not think so at the time but looking back you say time stood still and I seemed to do the right thing but it was the longest moment of my life.

In fact it felt like an eternity, an eternity of hell.  Time slowed down, not to me, to you.  The adrenaline was pumping so hard you seen every third frame or what ever.  Each frame is assigned a moment, and with more moments its a long time.

Who are you? At the moment of gun point you are... scared, on either side of the gun, pointing at you or holding the trigger.  If you are the gunman ask your self why you like to make yourself numb, non thinking and hurting others.

If you are the one facing the gun you probably are on automatic pilot.  Often you will do the right thing to live through it.  Your brain was working without you, subconsciously.  And you, my friend, are those subconscious frames and processing also.  Depending whats in the old noggin determines if you do what works or not.  You may be programmed to do badly. 

Now here is another angle.  You are the gunman  on autopilot.  In real life situations you are both the gunman and the victim.  It is the old devil and angel, each on a different shoulder.  You often hold the gun to yourself and do things you know you should not do. You put yourself on the old roller coaster because you may put yourself through unnecessary trials and tribulations.   Sounds scary, your lower nature victimizes the upper nature, but who let it. You set yourself up.

But relief.  You can control both sides.  You are the director of your own life.  You chose the scenes, the emotional players, the script, and you act it out.  Your script has developed over the years.  It is the accumulation of all the choices, millions of moments and in between moments that you made, make, and will make.  You are in a dynamic changing dance of life that you engineer.

Next Post: How to make better choices.